sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
