you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
