Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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