It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dignity is for republicans.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
