I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
