let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
