i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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