On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
