We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
