What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
