so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
