its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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