And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
