Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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