i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
