I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
