What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
