the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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