that's an acceptable place to lick
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
