I want you more than these girls want KFC
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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