come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
