it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
