I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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