I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
