So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
