I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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