That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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