no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
