I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
