Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
