When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
