I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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