Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
