i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
