bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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