just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
