Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
