i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
