Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
