your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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