actually, I'm a sock model
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
