She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
