I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
