I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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