lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
