Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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