hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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