Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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