I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just cropdusted the office
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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