Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We are all done wearing pants today
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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