remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
