i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
